Singing the song of angry men

(yeah, it’s another one of those current events/political ones)

I don’t hide the fact that I’m an atheist. I can be quite militant about it, though I try to keep that in check, as I know plenty of perfectly lovely religious people who are not, in fact, stupid and bigoted. I’ve never seen the point in not being open about it; quite frankly my opinion tends along the lines that those that have a problem with it are just proving my point about the harm done by religion.  What I’m not always so open about is politics. Oh, sure, a five-minute conversation will tell you that I’m pretty liberal, but I tend to hesitate with actual labels. Largely because the actual label tends to cause some pretty negative kneejerk reactions. I am, at heart, a communist.

Yeah, that tends to get people’s attention, and not often the sort of attention you want.

However, I am also a misanthrope. The misanthropy makes me believe that human nature is not yet, perhaps not ever, at a place where communism can work on a large scale. There’s just too much greed and selfishness in humans, and there’s no telling if it’s innate or learned behavior. Both, I suspect. Regardless, while we can find small indigenous populations that do seem to have their communist utopia, it’s yet to work on any sort of large scale. I would argue that is, at least in part, due to the fact we’ve yet to see it evolve naturally. The communism of the Soviet Union was forced. It was a forced revolution by idealists (or they at least started that way) who didn’t think about the consequences of bringing that system to a group of people who weren’t ready for it yet.

But now…

Clearly, the capitalist system we are currently under isn’t working. The rich are getting richer while the poor keep getting poorer and more numerous. And people are starting not only to notice, but also to protest. I look at the Occupy Movements around the country and I have to wonder if we’re not seeing what could be the start of the closest thing to a Communist Revolution as Marx saw it as is possible in a post industrial society. I don’t think it’s going to go all the way to full on communism, and I’m not sure I would want it to (see above and the human nature stuff) but I do think—hope—that we might see an end to the unregulated capitalism. An end to a system where it is legal and ok for companies to lay off employees for economic reasons or to take government handouts but still give their executives huge bonuses. And end to a system where corporate welfare is good, but helping out people is bad because people are just lazy when they need help. 

Then again, it might peter out and die long before then. But I hope not. Things are going to be worse.  With luck and perseverance it’s just getting worse on the way to getting better.  We are already witnessing brutal police attacks on unarmed protestors. So far, no one has died.  I question how much longer we’re going to be able to say that. When it happens (because I do think it is a when, rather than an if) all hell is going to break loose. It’s a terrifying thought to entertain, what might happen from this.

Autumn Musings

I have always considered nature to be a balm for the soul. I suppose that's why I took advantage of my first day off from both school and work in over a month to go out to a local nature preserve. I've seen almost no one else here and on some level I think that's a good thing. Te average person has become completely disconnected from nature, even when they're in someplace like this. They're racing through, talking, yelling even, just wanting to get it over with so that they can say they've done it and move on.

They're too loud to notice the rustling of the snake or the chipmunk in the leaves by their feet. They're moving too quickly to notice the row of mushrooms the size of small boulders.







And they've no time to stop and watch the squirrel eating a nut. They don't know enough to be able to tell at a glance which part of the leaf strewn ground is a part of the trail. No time is taken to just sit and listen to the sound of the wind in the trees and to really just be a part of where you're at.

 

Work, School, and Goals

I must say that I am happier with work now. I no longer have to describe myself as a cashier, but rather as an assistant manager. It helps reconcile the age and level of education with the position.

School is keeping me more than a little busy. My children's lit class (which I do enjoy, but still) has an immense amount of work, and I've got two practicums on top of that. Which means I have to do that whole dressing like a teacher thing almost every day. This is difficult because I don't have a lot of teacher appropriate clothes right now and am not eager to rush out and buy more because....







22.6 lbs down. It's not going as fast as I would like, though hopefully that will make it more sustainable, but it's still progress. And hey, I'm even sharing the real numbers.

I have lost 3 inches of my waist, 3 1/2 off my bust, 4 off each thigh, and have gone from a 38HH to a 36H. My weight goal involves losing 40 more pounds, but more important is keeping it off.

Tiny Visitors

I was on the patio theoretically working on homework, but some visitors dropped by and I had to go grab the camera. All I've done with any of these is crop them. Was fun to have the camera out and get some quality pictures again. It's been too long.

The Girly Girl

                                      VS.









A couple of weeks ago, a blogger over at the HuffPo decided to write a little blog about the loss of feminism that she started with the line "Women are girly. Again.." Great. Yet another writer (and a female one at that) buying into the mindset that being a feminist means trying to be a man. She laments that we bake cupcakes*, garden, and knit because instead we should be ditching all that stupid "girly" stuff and learn to hotwire cars, shoot guns, and manipulate our way into bomb shelters. (She didn't really go into the details on this last one, but I suspect it involves cleavage). She even gives us role models- Jane Austen = bad, Sookie Stackhouse = good.  The more I think on this, the more it bothers me, and not just that she couldn't find any real people (who weren't drug addicts) for role models  on what she thinks women should be. If it's tough girls she wants:

• I have butchered, dressed, and cooked any number of chickens (plucking the feathers is the worst part)
• I have helped deliver a lamb. By which I mean my hand was up there pulling because it was the only one small enough. 
• I have cleaned and replaced a prolapsed uterus on a ewe. 
• I have shot a gun
• I know how to change a tire and change my own oil (though I'll happily pay someone to do the later)
• I have a working knowledge of how to use hand tools (both power and not) to build a basic structure. 
• I enjoy hiking, camping (no trailers for me, please), biking, and boating. 

However, I also

• Spin, crochet, cross-stitch,  and sew
• I enjoy cooking from scratch meals for my family
• I like to garden and look forward to have a proper place to do it
• I am married and took my husband's name, with no real thought of not doing so

So, according to Ms. Aloi, I am a girly girl who forgot all about feminism. Well, that's fine, I don't need her approval. However, more than once in her article she mentioned some crazy apocalypse.  I've got news for her. If that happens, I'll be the one munching on the produce and animals I raised while keeping warm in my handmade garments and she'll be the one hungry and cold with nothing useful to bargain with. I think I'll be sticking with Jane then, and not Sookie.



                                                   

Ok. That aside. The fair was the past two weeks. It appears that none of the pieces I took down placed. It will be interesting to see the judges comments on them; there were several things (even in categories I didn't participate in) that made me seriously question the judges. Dustin will be picking them up tomorrow, as I have class all day.

School starts again tomorrow. Part of me is looking forward to it, but part of me is really not. Between classes and work I'm not really going to have any days off. Which means bossman isn't going to find out about days that school is out unless we really need the money, which we likely won't.

Dustin is going to be starting a new job on Friday. I'm not going to go into a lot of details, but it's a pay increase, has benefits, and isn't likely to have any of the slowdowns that we've been forced to become accustomed to. There might be some travel, but we've dealt with that before. We're working on bringing down our total debt and this is a good step in the right direction. (It's a very scary number that just got larger because of this semester's student loans, but I also know that it's less than some people's debt that's just from those student loans.)



*Interestingly, there is a woman of the same name who does blogging about cupcakes. All evidence points to this being the same person. Existential midlife crisis?

It's been a while. On the crafting front, Quarter 2 has come and gone, and I did manage my goal, which was to enter something in the Indiana State Fair, preferably something new. I'm taking the sweater I made earlier this year, a lace shawl I just finished, a doily (if I get it finished in time), and a photo from our Colorado trip if I can get it printed and matted correctly in time. I don't have any great pictures of the shawl yet; I just wove in the last ends yesterday and it's all cloudy and overcast today (but hotter than hell, we've a 104/40 heat index right now, hate humidity). 

                     The doily is the image from the Ravelry page; I'm doing mine in a similar color and the plan is to frame it once it's back from the fair.















My plan for Quarter 3 is to get that doily finished and then get my sock count up- the Sunday group had made a plan to make 12 pairs this year, which turned into 12 socks. I've got 3 done now. Since I love handmade socks and would love to be able to wear only those, that's what I'm going to focus on- especially since it means I can largely work from stash.

In crafting related news, I realized I never posted a picture of the awesome birthday gift I got this year.  Getting using it down to an art is still a work in progress. Who knows, maybe next year I'll be entering some handspun into the fair as well.

 I've also been working on losing weight and am currently down 15lbs since February which was my highest weight... well, ever, really. Still have 47lbs more to go to get to my eventual goal, but it's coming along nicely enough. I'm not really dieting- I want this to last and therefore I'm making life changes and teaching myself how to eat properly. I come from a family of over eaters and portion control really is my downfall. I've also been better about taking the dogs for daily walks, I've started going for long bike rides on the Monon in Carmel/Westfield on my days off, and (most recently) I've started a running training program. Not exactly C25K but something similar. Never in a million years thought I would say this, but I'm actually enjoying the running parts.

Some of this is vanity, some of it is expenses (for example, it would be nice to consider $60 expensive for a bra rather than cheap), and some of it is health. My family is all overweight, though who knows how much of that is genetics and how much is eating habits, and I have a medical condition that makes me more prone both to be overweight and get diabetes (which is also made worse by the being overweight). Since I've no desire to deal with that, the medical aspects are some of the more important. I also like the fact that I can see the weight coming off (as can others, I've recently gotten some positive random comments) and I can feel myself getting stronger. True, the bad leg is throwing a fit, but not as bad as it used to do and the physical therapist I used to see would say that working it is the only way to have a chance of getting it better without surgery (which it will need eventually anyhow).

Musings

There will be sone crafty stuff soon (I have a new toy!) but for now, just something that's been bothering me today.

When did Memorial Day become the sort of holiday that people stick "happy" in front of, as though it were akin the Thanksgiving? It suggests to me a horrible lack of knowledge about what it's actually for; despite what people here seem to think it's not just a long weekend in honor of some stupid race.

I'm not generally a fan of the flag waving sort of patriotism- far too often it seems to come hand in hand with the sort of "patriotism" that says that questioning the government is treason and the freedoms of speech and religion apply only to their speech and their religion. Still, I was raised by a veteran (who taught me disdain for lipservice patriotism) and I am married to one. Because of this, and because I do know our history, unlike so many "patriots" it bothers me to see a day of mourning and remembrance turned into a celebration of summer. Saying "happy Memorial Day" is flying straight in the face of that history.

Roller Derby

I first went to see roller derby a couple of years ago with my friend Meghann and her new boyfriend James (they're married now; how the time does fly). We went down the Pepsi Colosseum to see the Naptown Roller Girls, Indy's local team. It was fun, but we never made it to any other matches.

Last year or so, my awesome sis-in-law joined Muncie's new team (or at any rate, their existence was news to me). She's a shy quiet little thing, so this was something of a shocker. We went up to their first homebout on Sunday and they're really very good. They'll be playing Naptown in July, so the plan is to make it up for that as well. (and if you're local you should too)

If you've never seen a bout- you need to go. Watch "Whip It" first, though. It's not a bad movie, and it does a great job of explaining the rules, although it's banked track and everything around here is flat track (both cheaper and safer). If you have been, go back! The girls need your support; it's not a cheap sport.

That's Sarah (Jane Damage) in the sparkly blue helmet; she was pivot in this jam. If you read the rules, you'll know what that means.

2 posts in as many days. This won't happen again.

I stopped paying much attention to American news sources a long time ago. Too much obsession with celebrity gossip (I refuse to call any of it news) and sports. BBC news is my homepage on the internet and I really only look at anything else if I'm looking for something specific or more facts. Today, however they are completely obsessed with the Royal Wedding. This is obviously completely understandable. I don't care about the wedding (though that dress was gorgeous) but I understand them covering it the way they did. The problem is that it's making me miss London very badly to see it plastered all over every time I open a new browser window.

I spent a semester there for school in 2004. Life has kept getting in the way and I haven't been able to go back since then. Sometimes the missing it is worse than others. I grew up a small town girl (there were 1800 kids in the entire K-12 district I attended) but I love the big city.  I've always been very much a home is where your family is sort of person, but if I was forced to pick on physical location to call home, it would be London (though not, perhaps, the exact place we stayed).

I love this picture, despite the blurriness.

There was a whole group of us from Ball State that went, and we lived in a wing of a hostel that had been set up as a dormitory for us. It changed ownership while I was there, and has apparently been closed for renovations over since. Either it's never going to reopen or they've gutted the entire thing. It wasn't a bad place, but it wasn't great either. We were, however, just a few short blocks from Hyde Park.

This the Google satellite view of our neighborhood. The red dot is the intersection we lived at. Number 1 Queen's Gardens. School was past Paddington, just off Edgware Road* and the touristy stuff was on the other end of the park. The mall, Whitely's, became more interesting later when I learned it had originally been one of the first department stores.

I hope to be able to go back before we have kids. Dustin has never been, and I'd love to be able to show it to him without having to worry about having wee ones be able to keep up. Had his boss's corporate contract not run out and so vastly changed our financial situation, we probably would go this summer.

This was actually not taken in London. It's York, actually. But it is the people I spent the most time with. Stephanie, my two roommates Sarah and Mandy, Debbie, Me, Jenny, and Kari. Debbie's the only one I still keep in contact with. Last I heard, Stephanie was married to one of the guys who went (they started dating there) and Kari was living in Germany teaching on a military base. I don't know about the others. I miss it. I miss them.




*Terrorism takes on a different face when they hit somewhere you know. I was through that station on a very regular basis.

If April showers bring Mayflowers...

Then we're going to have quite a lot of flowers. It seems like it's been raining constantly these past few days. However, given the fact that Carmel insists on setting off their storm sirens any time that Hamilton County has a severe thunderstorm warning, I'm getting quite tired of hearing them.




Quarter Goals

Quarter 1: make a sweater for myself and three pairs of socks. The sweater is done, the socks are not. And I've decided (I think the whole group has done the same) that it's going to be 12 socks, rather than 12 pairs.  I quite like it; this picture does not do it justice. I've also been losing weight, which makes it even better.






Quarter 2: I need to catch up on my socks and enter something in the state fair. If I can find a quality place to get a print made (I need to get on that) I'll be entering that picture I showed a few weeks ago. I am also planning on making a lace shawl for it; it's at one half of it's needed diameter, but being that it's a circle, that doesn't mean that I'm anywhere near halfway done with it. 


The pattern is the Circular Shell Shawl (that's really hard to say, try it) from the book Crochet Lace. Thankfully the library had it, or I never would have been able to make any of the patterns. The book is out of print and is well over $100 on Amazon. I'm using some black (yes, black lace, I am that crazy) Classic Elite Silky Alpaca Lace that I had in my stash. It's a 70/30 alpaca/silk blend and it is amazing. 

There aren't really any good pictures on the Ravelry page for this. This one by Shepardscrook is the best there is, but she did modify the border a bit.

For the non-yarnies reading this, this is what size yarn we're dealing with when we say "lace weight." It's tiny, and it can be a pain the a** to work with. 







Aside from that, there's not been a lot going on. Today is the last day of classes, finals next week, then off until mid-August. I am hoping that I'll be able to switch to basically full-time at work. I also plan on doing some major cleaning of the house. We're both horrible packrats and we have closets full of stuff that we likely don't need. We've also decided that we're likely going to be in our current place until I graduate, which will be in 2013 and now that we've officially decided that this isn't just a temporary place, I'd really like to paint. I am so tired of cream colored walls.

I was recently reminded that I haven't blogged in a very long time. I am very busy, and very overwhelmed with school right now. One week of classes left, and then it's finals. I have a huge portfolio due on Tuesday, and then several final projects as well as the tests themselves. I foresee a very late night tomorrow on the portfolio. Once all that is done (or at least the portfolio part) I shall write a proper post.

For now, though, I  finished my Quarter One goal for group with a couple of days left and have started the Quarter Two project. I'll post pictures of both when I get a chance for a proper update.

Spring and Valentines

At the very least, it feels like spring. Highs in the 40's (which is a full 40F warmer than it was 2 weeks ago) and finally a good thaw to get rid of all the ice. I suspect we've got another good freeze coming before spring truly arrives, but the air has gotten that springtime smell too it and I suspect that when the glacier is gone from my flower bed I will have crocus noses poking up. (And it is a glacier at this point; it's migrating downhill)

Crocus picture, because I can.

We're not doing much for the holiday, such as it is. We had wanted to go to the Claddagh for fish and chips but we're broke so that's not happening. Instead, we're just going to have a nice meal at home and I made a cake.

As for the cake- my mother got me one of those cupcake shaped cake pans for Christmas this past year and this is the first time I've had a chance to use it. If I bake cake, we will eat it. And by we I mean I, so I solve the problem by not baking cake. But it's a special occasion so cake it is. I'm not so sure I like the pan, as it turns out. Problem number one is that you apparently need a whole thing of cake mix (I was lazy this time and used mix) for each half. For a family of two, that's way too much cake. Problem number two is that I think it would take fondant to get the cup part to look right, which is not my favorite thing ever. The store didn't have any ready made and I didn't have time to make my own, so I just used frosting. You can't get the bumps right. Still, I think the idea has potential and when I have a reason to make more cake (4th of July party, maybe?) I shall try it again.

My less than stellar first attempt. I also need to remember that while I used to be able to churn out frosting roses like a pro, I haven't actually done any cake decorating beyond sprinkles since high school.

Also, Chaos has decided that at my feet under the desk is the premier place to be when Dustin is at work. At least he's not quite as codependent as Scamper is.

Still chugging along on my quarterly goals for knitting group. Sweater is almost to the point of having sleeves attached; I'll get pictures when the main body is done. There's also a super secret project coming up soon that I'll only be able to talk about when it's done.

Something that Won't Happen often

This is going to be a bit (ok, potentially a lot) political. It's not something I'll do here frequently. I'll never hide my political views if I am asked but I do usually hold to the tenant that it's not a discussion for exceptionally public places. Usually my small rants will stay on Facebook or Live Journal. Maybe, if I'm feeling particularly feisty, they'll make it to deviantArt. Very rarely will you see them here. This is one of those rare times, though. The news of the last few weeks is just adding up too much for me to not say something; writing, especially when it needs to be well thought out and ordered, can be quite cathartic.  And now onto the rant. 

For how much certain political forces like to claim that they want "small government" they do seem awfully happy to shove their government all over my body. Especially my reproductive system.

Several states have passed/are considering laws that would require a woman seeking an abortion to first have a sonogram. One state would be too many. The fact that's not just one... Perhaps worst of all, there's no exceptions. Carrying a rapist's child? Listen to the heartbeat. Carrying a child you know will be stillborn or dead soon after birth? Listen to the heart beat.

And now there's a bill in the House (that naturally has the support of my congress creature) that will limit tax dollars that go towards abortions. Currently, medicaid can pay for them in cases of rape. Even if we go with the idea that that is the only time it's acceptable to have one, this bill wants to change that to only cover it in times of forcible and violent rape. That's it. Date rape drugs involved? Alcohol? You weren't raped enough to deserve that abortion. Further, it's limiting all tax money spent, and they're saying that because an HSA is tax free that money can't be spent on abortions, regardless of reason. And those tax deductions that you can get for insurance payments if you itemize your taxes? Kiss those goodbye if your plan even offers abortion coverage, regardless of if you ever use it.^

There's fear mongering in this country that it's going to turn into some socialist nightmare. We'll ignore the fact that most of the people screaming about this cannot actually tell you what socialism or communism is, just that Joe McCarthy told them it was a Bad Thing. Problem is, it's not one of Orwell's novels that I'm worried is going to come about; it's Atwood's*. That's not socialism. It's fascism, and it is far far scarier.

It is becoming quite clear to me that there is a group of politicians who do not view women as fully functioning adults capable of making their own decisions and running their own lives. Most shocking is the fact that there are women *in* this group. I've never really used "feminist" to describe myself. I never thought I had to; surely we had reached a point where there was no need to point out that I considered myself equal citizen despite having a uterus. Apparently that was naive of me. Regardless of my past naivety, this needs to be paid attention too. Every thinking woman, and every man who views women as more than chattel, needs to pay attention to this very slippery slope. Now it's proposed to not be rape from the view point of medical treatment. How long before it's not rape from the view of the law?

*The Handmaid's Tale is particularly creepy right now.
^H.R. 3 of 2011

edited for a couple of small typos

Not really resolutions

I decided a long time ago not to do New Year's resolutions. They're rarely ever kept with, and it seems to me that if one is going to make a change in one's life then one needs to do it right away, rather than just waiting for an arbitrary date.* That said, there are a couple of changes that I need to make, namely that I need to exercise more and stress less. Hopefully the two will easily go hand in hand. If it's not below 10F or knee deep in snow, there's no reason the dog and I can't go for a long walk daily. As for the stressing less, well, we'll see.

Dustin and I took advantage of the warm weather over the holiday weekend to take the dogs down to a nearby park for some hiking.  It was nice to get out of the house and do something outside without having to be bundled into multiple layers. I enjoy winter, but not that part of it.

Chaos had fun poking around in the bush, and Scamper does love digging for rodents, though I'm not sure what she'd do if she ever actually *found* anything.

I've gotten ready to start the first of my quarterly goals for my knit/crochet group. Everyday Crochet finally came in from the library, and I have the yarn to start my sweater. It's Berroco Vintage in a beautiful shade of green. I've also already finished the first sock for the group goal of making 12 pairs of socks this year, so that's looking much more achievable than it was two weeks ago.

Aside from that, life goes on much the same as normal. School starts again next week, and Dustin is looking for a new job. He loves the one that he's got now, but it appears that the crappy economy has finally hit it; he hasn't worked since before Christmas. We're eeking by for now, but that's not going to last. Technically, they have a corporate contract (redoing the lines in Taco Bell) but since they appear to be just sitting on it and not actually doing anything, having the contract doesn't do much good. We've talked about it, and if nothing better comes first, he'll be going (it is, sadly, a traveling thing) but if he gets something that looks to be a permanent full time thing with benefits, he's not going anywhere. The money's not worth it if there's the opportunity to actually have health insurance.

*I'll apologize right now for the writing style; I fell asleep watching Pride and Prejudice last night (the good one with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth) and it does effect my inner monologue quite a bit.